These days staying married for over 25 years is a rare feat, while staying happy for the majority of that time is even rarer. I have been married for almost 29 years, and after two boys, several dogs, one vicious cat, birds, a turtle, and I can't remember what else, I can honestly say I have been happy throughout my marriage.
My younger employees and friends wonder how a marriage can continue to thrive over the years. Here is a little suggestion: Make a list of all the things you like about your husband, and all the things you dislike (or, if you're inclined hate) about him. Then, over a period of two weeks sprinkle these good things in spontaneously. Set aside the negatives, such as the things you thought would change after marriage. Why? Because the unfortunate truth is that we often spend much more time expressing all the things we dislike.
I recently heard a story I really enjoyed about a woman who went to see her attorney. She wanted to find out what she could do to her husband that would hurt him the most after she divorced him. The attorney told her to be as kind as she could for the next six months. Then, come back and he would have the divorce papers drawn up for her to serve him. The husband would be so distraught to have been treated so well for the last six months that he would not know what hit him. After six months, the attorney did not hear from the woman. Finally the attorney contacted the woman and asked her if she wanted to proceed with the divorce. She said NO. Her marriage was the best it had ever been, and she LOVED her husband more then she thought was possible. The attorney asked her how this happened. The woman told the attorney that she had been focused on what was wrong with her husband for many years. She had lost her ability to simply be nice to her spouse. Her new focus on the positives was met with an equal change in her husband. He too was more pleasant to her. In this new era of her relationship, she was able to discover that he was the man she had always LOVED. Do you think this is worth a try?
For more tips, try this book,
Creative Counterpart : Becoming the Woman, Wife, and Mother You Have Longed to Be Let me know what you think, I am interested in your stories.
